Are you talking yourself out of coaching?
Have you previously thought about coaching?
Did you think about it, even do some online research, but then shelve the idea? Maybe you thought it wasn’t for you, or the right time. Perhaps you didn’t want to discuss personal topics with a stranger. Or maybe you’re just waiting for everything to ‘calm down’ so you have some thinking space.
Believe us, you’re not alone. It can take some time before it feels ‘right’, before you feel confident in reaching out. But that time spent procrastinating could have been spent making progress towards your goals, working on your topic of concern, or learning more about what’s getting in your way.
Read on to learn about some of the most common reasons people delay working with a coach, and why each is – in its own way – unhelpful. Over the next few months, we’re going to explore some of the real reasons people wait before starting coaching and what you can do about each of them. So come back here regularly to access blog content and podcast episodes that will give you the psychological resources to make your coaching decision.
Do any of these sound familiar?
"I should be able to sort this out myself..."
“I should be able to sort this out myself” often started as something helpful. It got you through exams, earned you trust and responsibility, and built genuine competence. The difficulty comes when it hardens into a rule that has to be obeyed, rather than a preference you can choose when it’s useful.
Listen to our recent podcast episode, which explores how self-reliance can become self-limiting – and what you can do about it to successfully reach out for the support you need.
"It's not bad enough yet..."
When we assume professional support is only for fixing significant problems, we can end up waiting until we have a problem big enough to justify it. Until then, we tell ourselves we’re coping. And we usually are, in the sense that we’re still getting through each week. But getting through isn’t the same as moving forward.
Waiting until things are ‘bad enough’ may mean you miss out on the context in which coaching can make all the difference and find yourself burnt out and needing a different kind of psychological support. Coaching can help you move from ‘surviving’ to ‘thriving’ at work.
"I don't really know what coaching is..."
Misconceptions about coaching abound! It’s mixed up with therapy and mentoring, viewed as a luxury or a chore. At its simplest, coaching is about helping you move from ‘stuck’ to ‘unstuck’.
In practice, coaching tends to focus on the present and the future: where you are now, where you’d like to be, and what’s getting in the way. It’s usually built around something you want to change or achieve, whether that’s a career decision, a leadership challenge, a better balance between work and the rest of life, or simply a clearer sense of direction. It’s not therapy. It’s not mentoring. And it’s not just a chat with a friend.
"I don't have the time right now..."
Most of us know what it’s like to fully intend to do something and then not do it. Research on what’s known as the intention-behaviour gap shows that our intentions explain only part of what we actually do. Wanting to make a change, even wanting it strongly, doesn’t guarantee that we will. This is one reason waiting for the right time rarely works.
The right time is usually imagined as a moment when we’ll have more energy, more money and fewer demands. But for most busy people, that moment keeps moving further into the future. If not now, when?
"What if I find out something I don't want to know...?"
It’s easy to imagine how it would feel to discuss something uncomfortable. Easier still to delay it due to the imagined discomfort. This as a form of what we call experiential avoidance: trying to avoid uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and memories, even when doing so gets in the way of a life we care about.
The trouble is that avoidance works, at least in the short term. But the underlying situation doesn’t change. And the relief is virtually always temporary. And the effort required to avoid more discomfort is exhausting.
"I'm not sure it would work for me..."
It’s good to have some healthy skepticism when solutions are offered! The good news is that coaching has been studied quite extensively, particularly in the workplace. Several meta-analyses, which combine the results of many studies, have found that coaching can have a positive impact on a range of outcomes, including performance and skills, wellbeing, coping, work attitudes and goal-directed self-regulation.
That said, coaching doesn’t get positive results without effort, reflection, experimentation and a willingness to get out of your comfort zone. Our coaches provide the support and accountability that makes all the difference.
"Coaching isn't for people like me..."
In coaching, we pay attention to the stories our minds tell us about who we are and what we’re allowed to want. “People like me don’t do that” is one of the most powerful of these stories, because it rarely feels like a thought. It feels like a fact about the world.
If, when you think about coaching, you only visualise senior executives, you may not imagine coaching is for you. At WorkLifePsych, we believe coaching can work for everyone, so should be made available to everyone.
"I don't need a coach - I've got access to AI..."
Have you ever noticed how much AI ‘friend’ seems to agree with you? Much of the value of good coaching comes from being challenged: asking the question you’ve been avoiding, or pointing out a pattern you can’t see from the inside. A tool that tends to go along with your framing can help you think, but it may also help you stay exactly where you are.
A human coach also brings things that are hard to replicate in a chat window. They notice what you don’t say: the hesitation before an answer, the topic you keep steering away from, the energy that comes into your voice when you talk about something you care about. They hold you accountable as a real person you’ve made a commitment to. And a professionally trained coach works within an ethical framework, receives supervision, and can recognise when what you’re experiencing needs a different kind of support altogether.
Working with a coaching psychologist
We’re a team of coaching psychologists, which means we bring the science of psychology to life in our coaching methods and approaches.
As psychologists, we have the domain knowledge and expertise when it comes to understanding how people think, feel and behave at work. We understand how people change and grow, how they deal with setbacks, challenges and change. We know how to support our clients through a wide range of topics and contexts. We know that coaching is far more than goal-setting!
We leverage our training and expertise to help you get the most from your coaching experience, using evidence-based methods, providing support and accountability as we work together.
How you can find out more
1. Book a free chemistry session
2. Download our Coaching guide
How could coaching help you?
If coaching as a concept is relatively new to you, these illustrative examples will help bring it to life.
Stepping into seniority
If you’ve recently been promoted into a more senior position, coaching can help you adapt to the demands of your new context, getting clarity on your priorities and building the relationships that matter. Seniority doesn’t inevitably lead to stress and long hours – we’ll show you how to avoid both.
Banishing the imposter
Imposter phenomenon occurs when healthy self-doubt turns into something more significant and we end up worrying if we’ll be ‘found out’ and lose everything. Coaching can help you learn to get distance from these thoughts and develop a more realistic view of your capabilities and performance.
Coping with pressure
Work is fulfilling, but it can also be a source of real pressure and stress. And not every way we respond to this is helpful, health or effective. We can support you to create a healthy coping toolkit, change your environment where possible, and avoid workplace pressures turning into strain or burnout.
Beating procrastination
Procrastination involves irrational delays to meaningful tasks – all because of some form of discomfort. Over time, this can develop into an unhelpful way of dealing with workload and obligations. Coaching can help you unlearn it and approach your task list with proactivity and clear intention.
Navigating change
Change can be tough, regardless of how well it’s managed. If you’re going through organisational change, we can help you navigate it successfully. And if you’re leading it, we’ll help you deal with the responsibility and workload in healthy and sustainable ways.
Overcoming setbacks
Whether it’s the loss of a job, the failure of a product launch, or missing out on a promotion, we can help you process the experience, learn from it and apply what you learn in positive ways. We can help you step away from rumination, and reflect with intention. To approach the future with optimism and a plan.
Working sustainably
Sometimes it feels like there’s never enough time to get it all done. Because there isn’t! We can support you to prioritise your tasks and responsibilities, get clarity on what matters, and work in a way that won’t require you to sacrifice your wellbeing or relationships.
Returning to work
If you’ve experienced an extended break from work – for maternity, paternity, or healthcare reasons – the return to the workplace can seem daunting. We can help you plan, adjust, and re-engage with the workplace in a healthy and sustainable way.
Book a free chemistry session today
We'd be delighted to discuss your coaching needs and answer all your coaching-related questions. Click below to schedule a free 30mins call with one of our team.
Why work with us?
We're a team of accredited and experienced workplace psychologists with deep expertise in coaching methods.
Domain knowledge
As psychologists, we have a deep, scientific understanding of how people think, feel and behave at work. Our training has included a deep understanding of personality and ability at work, of wellbeing and productivity, and how to effect lasting behaviour change.
Coaching expertise
In addition to our deep domain knowledge, we all possess advanced coaching skills, enabling us to support your employees while also holding them accountable to the commitments they make. After all, coaching is far more than just simple goal-setting.
Ongoing CPD and supervision
Our professional accreditation and registrations require that we engage in ongoing Continuing Professional Development – which keeps skills and knowledge sharp – as well as professional supervision, which ensures we remain reflective practitioners who can access support when we need it.
Evidence-based practice
As scientist-practitioners, we use the approaches and tools that work. We avoid fads and fashions (learning styles, anyone?) or truisms that fail to stand up to scrutiny (30 days to build a new habit? Not really…). You can rest assured we use what works - and can explain our approaches with transparency.
Work with our expert coaches
Find out more about our core coaching team by clicking on the profiles below.