Have you ever put off an important task for something easier? Snoozed your alarm? Said yes to ‘just one more meeting’ because it felt simpler than saying no?
In each case, you were certainly in the moment. The more useful question is whether you were present.
It’s a question I’m asked often in coaching and training: is there ever a downside to focusing on the here and now? We’re told to live in the moment, after all. But ‘in the moment’ can describe two quite different experiences, and mixing them up can quietly undermine our decisions, our performance and our wellbeing.
Two ways of being in the moment
The first way we can be in the moment is mindful presence, sometimes called present moment awareness or mindful focus. In his book ‘A Liberated Mind’, Steven Hayes describes it as flexible attention: “choosing to attend to experiences that are helpful or meaningful, and, where they aren’t, choosing to move on to other useful events in the here and now rather than being caught in mindless attraction or revulsion”. The key word here is flexible.
Mindful presence is also widely misunderstood. It doesn’t mean emptying your mind, because there will always be something in there; what matters is how you relate to it. It isn’t about controlling your thoughts, which tends to lead to frustration and, ironically, loses our connection with the present as we wrestle with mental content. And it isn’t a cure-all for life’s problems.
The second way of being in the moment is referred to as ‘present bias’, a well-documented thinking error in which we prefer smaller, sooner rewards over larger, later ones. It shows up when we scroll instead of tackling the washing up, but also in decisions with longer-term consequences, such as delaying a pension, skipping rest or exercise, or putting off a difficult conversation. The ‘reward’ isn’t always tangible. It’s often a pleasant feeling, or the avoidance of an uncomfortable one.
Both are ‘in the now’, which is why they get confused, and why phrases like carpe diem can be read to justify almost anything. ‘I’m living in the moment’ can mean ‘I’m neglecting my inbox’ or ‘I’m skipping the gym again’. The simplest way to separate them is this: both happen in the moment, but only one is consciously chosen, and only one stays connected to what matters to you.
Six differences you can spot from the inside
It isn’t just semantic hair-splitting. Learning to tell these apart helps you notice which one is running the show, and then to respond differently and with more intention.
1. Chosen versus automatic. Mindful presence is a deliberate choice you could explain to someone else: I’m choosing to focus on you, on this film, on this piece of music. Present bias is a more automatic reaction to whatever feels good, easy or urgent. You open your inbox in the evening ‘just for a quick look’, and 90 minutes later the family conversation you meant to have hasn’t started. Mindfully, you’d notice the pull to open it as an urge that can pass. You might check for one particular update and then close it, or put the phone in a drawer.
2. Flexible versus captured attention. Mindful focus lets attention move on purpose, including away from unhelpful things. Present bias lets it be grabbed by whatever is most vivid, urgent or pleasing. Your phone buzzes in a team meeting, and three paragraphs into a news story you’ve no idea what was just decided. Being present isn’t about never drifting. It’s about noticing and returning, again and again.
3. Relationship to time. When we’re mindfully present, past, present and future stay in view, but we’re anchored in the now. Present bias shrinks the future so that our focus zooms in on the next few minutes. It’s 4pm on Friday, a report is due on Monday, and ‘I’ll do it on Sunday evening’ feels sensible, partly because Sunday-evening you feels like a stranger who’ll handle it. Mindfully, you still notice you’re tired and the weekend is calling. You also notice that you’ll be glad on Monday of a first draft, so you work for 30 minutes, leave with something done, and start the following week calmer.
4. Relationship to discomfort. Mindful presence makes room for discomfort. Present bias often functions as an escape from it, which is why it so often leads to avoidance and procrastination. You need to give a colleague some difficult performance feedback, you feel the tightness in your chest, and you decide it’s not the right time. A week later the relief has gone, the feedback is still undelivered, and regret has crept in. The feeling is the same in both cases. In one, it decides what happens. In the other, it comes along for the ride.
5. What’s driving the choice? Present bias is steered by how we want to feel: I don’t want to feel bored, annoyed or awkward. Mindful presence is steered by what matters, even when that doesn’t feel good right now. As Russ Harris puts it, values are about what you want to do, not how you want to feel. Picture a manager who values developing their team but says yes to every request because saying no is uncomfortable. They end up with no room for mentoring. The same manager, feeling the same discomfort, declines a low-priority request and protects time for a career conversation. That’s values showing up in behaviour.
6. How you feel afterwards. Present bias tends to bring short-lived relief or enjoyment, often followed by low-level guilt, disappointment or self-criticism: why did I do that again? Acting in line with your values, even through discomfort, tends to leave a sense of satisfaction and self-respect, because what you did matched what you care about.
Choosing the immediate option isn’t always present bias
None of this means you should never go with the moment, treat yourself, or leave something until tomorrow. The question is whether the choice was made consciously and with intent.
Imagine scrolling social media for an hour at 11pm to avoid thinking about tomorrow’s presentation, and resenting it by midnight. Now imagine deciding at 7pm that the presentation is as ready as it will be, closing the laptop and watching a film with your partner, fully engaged. That is also living in the moment, but it’s valued, intentional rest rather than avoidance of thoughts and feelings.
Six ways to loosen the grip of present bias
Each of the following techniques can help you side-step the impact of present bias. They run roughly from easiest to most effortful – though none of them are onerous.
Build in mindful breaks. Short, deliberate pauses between tasks help you reconnect with the present and with what matters, rather than escaping into scrolling or reading. A mindful break isn’t 15 minutes. It can be a gentle pause to down tools, notice and begin again.
Add friction. Make the tempting option harder and the valued option easier. If you want to move more and sit less, watch the programme you want to see while on an exercise machine.
Shrink the first step. If the first step towards a long-term payoff feels awful, there’s less reason to take it. Make it much smaller and present bias has less to push against.
Pause to name the experience. Try I notice the urge to check my phone. That puts a little space between urge and action, and room to choose another response, such as turning the phone face down.
Reconnect with your values. Ask why this matters to you. Sometimes the honest answer is that it doesn’t, and you can let it go. Often it’s because you want to be a good manager, parent or friend, someone dependable and compassionate.
Ask a future-self question. Not ‘what will retired me think?’, which can feel remote, but: looking back from the end of today, or this week, what would I want to have done? Make it vivid. Imagine how it will feel to be the person who hasn’t done the work, six weeks on. Thinking of the future as you, rather than a stranger, can make it easier to act now.
A question to take with you
The aim isn’t perfection, and it isn’t becoming a robot who never takes the easy option. It’s using your judgement, being honest with yourself, and letting what matters to you guide your focus and your choices.
Next time you feel pulled towards the easy option, ask yourself what the pull is helping you avoid. It’s often something uncomfortable, and naming it can help you sidestep it. Then ask: could I say out loud what I’m choosing and why, and would I be comfortable with someone else hearing it?
And if you’d like to learn how to be more present and bring your values to life more consistently, I offer a free, no-commitment chemistry session where you can discover whether coaching could help. Visit worklifepsych.com/chemistry to find out more and book a meeting today.